1. |
Leopard Print Butt Plug
03:11
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I see you hanging out at all of the shows
Looking sassy in your leopard print bathrobe
While everyone’s finger-fucking their phones
Talking ‘bout this band they discovered
And then there’s you, a normal dude
Who trades his 9 to 5 for boots
And studs and chains and leather shoes
They say you’re strange
Cuz you know it, you know it
This scene is a zoo
When you’ve got it, don’t blow it
Whatever you do
The ticket’s hot, but the music is not
But I am out and already all dressed up
So let’s find something that will turn this night around
Because it’s me, I’m such a creep
I found something for you on Etsy
I think that you should take your leggings off
So we can play kitty
We can play kitty
Next thing I know, you’ve run out of there
You got a cab with the girl with the rainbow hair
Don’t be deceived by this tail that I wear
It’s a leopard print butt plug
And when I see you in the light
In a polo shirt, it isn’t right
I think we’d have much better luck
If you whipped out your leopard print butt plug
Your leopard print butt plug
Cuz you know it, you know it
This scene is a zoo
When you’ve got it, don’t blow it
Whatever you do
Well I know it, I know it
This scene is a zoo
When I’ve got it, I’ll blow it
Whatever I do
With you
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2. |
Girl Crush
03:12
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She’s got the pretty little city looking at their phones
Their pants constrict when they think they’re alone
And now she’s done away with words, she’s got a way with nerds
And she could have her pick of them all
But they don’t read her missives
They just see a submissive
I know there’s something to her
The boys all wanna do her
But I got something they don’t
Yeah, I got something they don’t
They don’t
Girl crush, girl crush, no homo
I really don’t know what she’s trying to prove
She worked her magic, ended up with a poop
And now she’s texting me up, claiming that she’s got a stalker
What’d you expect? You fucked him.
But I can’t be a chauffer
I just wanna know her
He can get her drinks, get her on the list
He can get attached, but I can’t
But I got something he don’t
Yeah, I got something he don’t
He don’t
Girl crush, girl crush, no homo
Your mother said that you should get a man who’ll buy you pearls
Your mother didn’t know that you were into other girls
Your mother said that you should wed a man who’ll pay your college loans
Oh, it’s funny just how little that your mother knows
Girl crush, girl crush, no homo
I got a crush on you…
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3. |
Sad Waste of Your 20's
03:16
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You said you understand
Why it had to end
But I don’t really think that you do
The guy that you adore
Already spoken for
And he’s not gonna leave her for you
And it’s not a question of respect at all
Cuz when your heart is closed, there’s no fucking way you’ll fall
Never thought that I could hate someone I don’t know
You left me feeling empty
What a sad waste of your 20’s
What a sad waste of your 20’s
Good luck with your 30’s
Maybe I built it up
Inside of my head
And in time you could get over him
But then I see your eyes
I see the light in your mind
And I know I can’t compete with that
And it’s not a question of affection now
Cuz I know I’ll never get to you anyhow
I can’t turn into someone you already love
You left me feeling empty
What a sad waste of your 20’s
What a sad waste of your 20’s
Good luck with your 30’s
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4. |
My Mission
03:36
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On a Monday night, after work
Gonna fuck you like it’s my mission on Earth
Gonna fuck you like it’s my mission on Earth
On a Tuesday night, after dark
Come to my office, cuz we have got unfinished business
Yeah, I’m gonna fuck you
On a Wednesday night, after band practice
Gonna play you like my favorite guitar
Gonna play you like my favorite guitar
On a Thursday night, with the stars outside
I’ll put them right in your eyes
Yeah, I’m gonna fuck you
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5. |
Kraft (American Singles)
01:34
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I’ve been eating Velveeta my entire life
Baby, you were like French brie
Well it changed some things it shouldn’t have changed
You made me really like expensive cheese
But you can’t always get everything you want
Like the cheese in someone else’s fridge
It’s a metaphor, you fuckin whore
I just hope you’re happy with that bitch
When life gives you moldy cheese, throw it in the trash
You gotta get yourself back up and kick some ass
Well I did some things I shouldn’t have done
Threw away some special friends for you
I don’t feel bad, it was kinda fun
It was something that I had to do
When life gives you moldy cheese, throw it in the trash
You gotta get yourself back up and kick some ass
When life gives you moldy cheese and it isn’t fair
Don’t get yourself worked up, there’s nothing there
Nothing there
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6. |
Burrito Baby
03:01
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Allston has fewer rats when she’s around
Jamaica Plain got twice as gay as it’s allowed
I’m living pages out of someone else’s book
She held my hand, and that was all it took
Burrito, burrito, burrito baby
I wanna hold her like tortillas hold their meat
I wanna be the salsa to her rice and beans
When we’re together, we can do most anything
She’s the only love song that I wanna sing
Burrito, burrito, burrito baby
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7. |
Nothing's Wrong
02:28
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Did you survive the winter in style
Or did your heart grow colder still?
Did you find another girl to bring you down for a while
Or fuck her up like you always do?
Now my anxiety is gone
And I can live like nothing’s wrong
I just wish someone would love me like you did
This is how it always ends
Splitting our custody of friends
Running into you at shows
Double fisting whiskey coke
Now my anxiety is gone
And I can live like nothing’s wrong
I just wish someone would love me like you did
Did you write some maudlin songs
And post them on your Bandcamp page?
With the vocals almost off
Cuz you were always so afraid
To play them for an audience
Lights above and center stage
With a band to back you up
Or even in the bedroom with just me
And I can sleep now that you’re gone
Play my guitar and drown you out
Can’t say I ever learned your songs
You never sang them loud enough
Now my anxiety is gone
And I can live like nothing’s wrong
I just wish someone would love me like you did
I wish someone would say they always will
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8. |
Ex Husband
04:04
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You’re going back to the suburbs
You’re cleaning up his house
You’re moving back this summer
It’s gonna be your home
Don’t know what’s best for you
Can’t tell you what to do
Please don’t bang your stupid ex-husband
Don’t bang your stupid ex-husband
Don’t bang your stupid ex-husband
Are you scared to be alone forever?
We’ve all been there before
Don’t know what’s best for you
Can’t tell you what to do
Please don’t bang your stupid ex-husband
Don’t bang your stupid ex-husband
Don’t bang your stupid ex-husband
Please don’t bang your stupid ex-husband
Please don’t bang your stupid ex-husband
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9. |
Switch Hitter
03:31
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I'm really bad at being gay
And I'm really bad at being straight
They said, "hurry up and make up your mind"
They call me a player, cuz I bat for both sides
He said, "you're a great girl, but most straight girls
don't cut their hair and wear men's clothes"
Well, in case it wasn't obvious
It's time you know that I like both
You say switch hitter like it's a sin
But who cares how you score if you know how to win?
You say switch hitter like it's a sin
But who cares how you score if you always get it in?
Bring it in, home run, everybody, everyone
I can get by with a bat or a glove
Pitch or receive, oh you have to believe
that I've got all capacities for love
She said, "I'm a gold star lesbian
And I don't date women who have been with men"
Well, I'm a gold star thespian
And I'll be exiting to stage left
You say switch hitter like it's a sin
But who cares how you score if you know how to win?
You say switch hitter like it's a sin
But who cares how you score if you always get it in?
They tell that I'm just confused
And I'll figure out who I want to screw
They tell me that it's just a phase
And I should learn the rules of the game
I'm an equal opportunist, as long as you're good in bed
And if you're not down with that, then I'll go down on someone else instead
But if you like who I am
We can hit a grand slam
You say switch hitter like it's a sin
But who cares how you score if you know how to win?
You say switch hitter like it's a sin
But who cares how you score if you always get it in?
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10. |
Terrible C
04:46
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20 months, a terrible sea
Paired hearts pumping mercury
Deadly sails wrapping me
Shifting, leaking, rolling, creaking
The rotting flesh of victims past
The stench below
You’ll never get away from the sound of your own poisoned song
Barrels of fear and poisoned lies
Appear up high, waiting to crush me
Rotten wood and sagging lines
Desperation is her only guiding light
The rotting flesh of fears past
The stench below
You’ll never get away from the sound of the damage inside you
I thought it was treasure, of treacherous pleasures
I was marooned on a dry deserted knife
Each weary step led me down
A blackened plank, until I drowned
The rotting flesh of victims past
The stench below
You’ll never get away, you’ll never get away
The rotting flesh of fears past
The stench below
You’ll never get away, you’ll never get away
And the echo of your wrongs will haunt you
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PowerSlut Boston, Massachusetts
"A living, shredding act of reclamation and destigmatization."
- Victoria Wasylak, Vanyaland
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